New Poem: Stoner Notepad

Stoner Notepad
***
it's another stoner notepad,
another way of attempting to corral the chaos
in a complex combination of correlated sounds
called "words."
it's another dystopian warning,
another cry of "it's not too late . . .yet,"
it's another attempt at tearing out
the rage that attempts to strangle me,
so that my tongue clings to the bottom of my mouth
or hides behind the lumpin my throat.
it might just
kill me.
it's another manifesto,
another unnecessary proclamation of exactly
why i'm doing this or
why i go on or
why i haven't given up
as if i haven't been wearing my heart on my sleevef
rom the time you stepped into the room, so,
beware when this thing strapped to my wrist
grows thorns.
it's another attempt to cage the quantum tiger
but i'm always missing a substantial portions
of his particles in the attempt, and most of these afford
only a glimpse
of the possibilies.
it's another futile attempt to, through self-disclosure
and an honest understanding of my limitations,try to communicate something so
fundamental in the equation,
because it confounds me that you can't see
the pattern holding things together.
it's another explanation that,
what you see before you is just a loose conglomeration
of molecules and past participles,
a shadow of the possibilities,
each jagged gasp of air a stolen moment in infinity,
as much a slave to my appetites
as any common reptile . . .that God would allow such an unlikely specimen
to breathe poetry,
is beyond my understanding, but a gift
so unrestrained that
resistance is futile
and
i can do nothing but release.