Feverish Rambling, Blogsprawl, and Dream-Journal #3: The Cacodaemon

Felt on-and-off feverish for the past 24 hours or so. I finally weakened and took some aspirin, along with some goldenseal, just in case there's something in my system that needs to get purged. I don't know if it hurts or helps that i'm drinking Mountain Dew Voltage, but maybe the ginseng and caffiene will help rush the aspirin and goldenseal on its way. Either that, or it'll make having a fever slightly more entertaining.

I'm also having a case of "blogsprawl." I still have some passages that i want to mine out of my Myspace blog, which i don't post in anymore. Now i have a poem that i've posted in Facebook, because i recently discovered the "notes" tab where i can post more than a few lines at a time. Not that anybody's more likely to read my Facebook than they are this rambling diatribe, but i like to spread myself as broadly as possible in the internet. I had a Livejournal at one time, long ago, but most of that was cannabis-induced raving or just general ranting, or a combination of both.

I also need to post the dream i had last night. Like i said, they're becoming more vivid, either because i'm now making the conscious effort to remember them, or because i haven't written much poetry lately and the creative process tends to "spill over," or both. Anyway . . .
***
In this dream, i'm walking along a road in some mostly rural area . . . it reminds me of pictures i've seen of India, Bangladesh, Afghanistan, etc. There's a crowd of people ahead, dressed in various styles, apparently mourning a man who is laying on a raised concrete platform. Two other men are at a shrine at one end of the platform, cutting themselves and splashing their blood all over the corpse and the shrine. I understand that this is some kind of rite to try to raise the dead. The two men who have cut themselves have almost eviscerated themselves, and staggered away from the platform. The dead man begins to rise up, and a woman . . . perhaps a wife or mother, i'm not sure . . . runs over and says, "You've returned to me, _____" (The blank is the man's name, which i cannot remember). The man laughs in a horrible voice, and says, "_____ is DEAD!" I then understand that a demon has inhabited this corpse, and now staggers almost drunkenly, with a horrible leering smile on his face, to a corral where there is a small bull-like creature. He stands and lets the creature attack him, goring him . . . and then the bull's face distorts, and i realize that the demon has gone from the body of the man to inhabit the bull . . . the creature runs out of the corral, and i am suddenly afraid to meet it's gaze, or draw it's attention in any way . . .but it sees me and runs over to me, not goring me but rubbing up against me. I am repulsed by this, and i cry out, "I bind and rebuke you in the name of Christ! I cast you into the Abyss on that Authority!" The bull then seems to crumple, and then fades out completely. None of the people who are around appear to notice either me or the bull's bizarre behavior and disappearance, but i'm overwhelmed with a sense of relief as if from some tragedy barely avoided. At that point i awaken.
***

I think i know what it was.

Dream Journal #2: The Mephit

In this dream, i am in a place that appears much like our family's camp on the Greenbrier River. Throughout the dream, there is a child's voice, narrating the events as i experience them. I am vaguely aware that there are other people in the campsite, but i neither see nor encounter them directly. There is a creature that i first identify as a skunk, loose in the room. I try to get it to leave by throwing various objects at it, but it isn't deterred by this. As it moves about, it seems to become more intelligent, somewhat anthropomorphic. It begins moving various objects in the room, tilting pictures sideways, disarranging various knick-knacks, and otherwise "messing things up." I was distressed by this for reasons unknown. The creature moves into another room, apparently intending to further it's mischief, when i hear the child's voice talking about the creature, saying, "But he didn't know about the _____ upstairs that was going to stop him." (The blank represents a word that i don't know). At that point, i hear a sound from the attic space. It seems to be a mixture of an eagle's cry, and owl's call, and a woman's scream. It is frightening because i don't know the source, but i also understand that it means to harm the creature and not me. At that point, i awaken.

Morning Mourning

Last night, i had a dream about performing a poem. It was a new poem, one i haven't written. And when i woke up, i could actually remember a whole section of the poem . . . and, like an idiot, i didn't immediately transcribe it. And now it's GONE!!! I can't even remember a single LINE from that poem, and i'm really frustrated and angry and pissed off and several other words i won't mention even in a blog.

It has been a busy morning. My parents and i did a major cleaning of the kitchen . . . we've been going room by room, cleaning the house, washing the curtains, even putting new carpet in the TV room. Today, new blinds in the kitchen, and it was also a cooking day. Mom started out making her ginger-snaps (i had the first one hot out of the oven!) Then, it was my turn, baking up homemade party mix (Dad's recipe), and later today Dad's making homemade bread. At some point, we'll mix the mulling spices with the cider and put that on in the crock pot. And all day long i was mourning the loss of my dream. I've got to stay on target with that.

Right now, i feel very blah. So i'm going to wait until later and try to post something meaningful in this blog.

Dream Journal #1: Two Dogs

I've decided, based on the fact that my dreams are becoming more vivid lately, to begin dream-journaling again. Most of the ones i experience will be blogged. I recently had one that was oddly disturbing, and hasn't lost it's potency, which i'll transcribe here.

In the dream, i'm walking along a roadway through what appears to be a rather run-down part of a town. Most of the houses or buildings along the way are facing away from this road . . . back fences and garbage cans are present. There are several individuals sitting or standing along the road . . . all appear to be ragged, and i understand in the dream that they're homeless, and in various states of intoxication. I approach an area where garbage cans are sitting, and see a dog, possibly a mongrel with some German Shepherd ancestry. The dog is emaciated, with unkmept fur. Still, i attempt to befriend it . . . i call it over, and pat its head. The dog becomes excited, and through the dream i hear music, and what appears to be the dog's "thoughts." Although i don't recall the exact words, the run of the thoughts (which continue until i awaken) i'm getting are both plaintive and somehow menacing. The dog follows me, jumping at first in a way that seems almost playful, but then it grips my arm in its jaws. I'm not aware of any pain, but there is a sense of weight, tugging, and i'm hindered in my motions. I continue walking away, trying to get away from the dog, but it stays with me, not releasing my arm. I pass along a chain-link fence bordering what appears to be a baseball field. The overall look of the sky and trees appears to be winter, and there are spots of snow and puddles of water along the way, but no sense of cold. I become aware of another dog that's moving alongside of me, but on the other side of the mongrel. It appears as a full-blooded German Shepherd, but full-bodied and with a very healthy-looking coat. I sense this dog is extremely friendly, and doesn't wish me any harm. As i pass by the baseball field, there are discarded packages of half-eaten snacks along the way, an i think momentarily of trying to distract the dog that's holding on to me with these, but i also fear that it will only encourage the mongrel to follow me. It's at this point that i wake up.