Monday, October 5, 2009

Feverish Rambling, Blogsprawl, and Dream-Journal #3: The Cacodaemon

Felt on-and-off feverish for the past 24 hours or so. I finally weakened and took some aspirin, along with some goldenseal, just in case there's something in my system that needs to get purged. I don't know if it hurts or helps that i'm drinking Mountain Dew Voltage, but maybe the ginseng and caffiene will help rush the aspirin and goldenseal on its way. Either that, or it'll make having a fever slightly more entertaining.

I'm also having a case of "blogsprawl." I still have some passages that i want to mine out of my Myspace blog, which i don't post in anymore. Now i have a poem that i've posted in Facebook, because i recently discovered the "notes" tab where i can post more than a few lines at a time. Not that anybody's more likely to read my Facebook than they are this rambling diatribe, but i like to spread myself as broadly as possible in the internet. I had a Livejournal at one time, long ago, but most of that was cannabis-induced raving or just general ranting, or a combination of both.

I also need to post the dream i had last night. Like i said, they're becoming more vivid, either because i'm now making the conscious effort to remember them, or because i haven't written much poetry lately and the creative process tends to "spill over," or both. Anyway . . .
In this dream, i'm walking along a road in some mostly rural area . . . it reminds me of pictures i've seen of India, Bangladesh, Afghanistan, etc. There's a crowd of people ahead, dressed in various styles, apparently mourning a man who is laying on a raised concrete platform. Two other men are at a shrine at one end of the platform, cutting themselves and splashing their blood all over the corpse and the shrine. I understand that this is some kind of rite to try to raise the dead. The two men who have cut themselves have almost eviscerated themselves, and staggered away from the platform. The dead man begins to rise up, and a woman . . . perhaps a wife or mother, i'm not sure . . . runs over and says, "You've returned to me, _____" (The blank is the man's name, which i cannot remember). The man laughs in a horrible voice, and says, "_____ is DEAD!" I then understand that a demon has inhabited this corpse, and now staggers almost drunkenly, with a horrible leering smile on his face, to a corral where there is a small bull-like creature. He stands and lets the creature attack him, goring him . . . and then the bull's face distorts, and i realize that the demon has gone from the body of the man to inhabit the bull . . . the creature runs out of the corral, and i am suddenly afraid to meet it's gaze, or draw it's attention in any way . . .but it sees me and runs over to me, not goring me but rubbing up against me. I am repulsed by this, and i cry out, "I bind and rebuke you in the name of Christ! I cast you into the Abyss on that Authority!" The bull then seems to crumple, and then fades out completely. None of the people who are around appear to notice either me or the bull's bizarre behavior and disappearance, but i'm overwhelmed with a sense of relief as if from some tragedy barely avoided. At that point i awaken.

I think i know what it was.

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